“Till death do us part.” A phrase said by almost every soon to be wife
and husband. Despite this promise, many
marriages end with one partner, or both, filing for divorce. Narrowing down the most common reason for
splitting is difficult, There’s a myriad of reasons for why someone decides to
leave their partner. Ada Calhoun writes
that often times the villain of marriage is change. Whether it be too much change or not enough,
partners lose their love for someone they once loved, or became someone new and
their partner didn’t change along with them.
Calhoun emphasizes the need for accepting change through her use of
first person further showing the importance of maintaining relationships in life.
Calhoun’s
firsthand experience with divorce is detailed in her piece through first
person. She explains how her marriage wasn’t
a big deal to her or her husband, Nick.
In fact, they “told anyone who asked that the marriage was no big deal,”
(22), hinting at the fact that neither of them felt impacted by their legal
binding. Furthermore, Calhoun includes
how she “didn’t feel different the next day.
We still fell asleep to “Politically Incorrect” with our cats at our
feet as we always had” (21). This lack
of change was detailed in first person, giving readers the truth of how she
felt to reach to appeal to their emotions.
Nothing changed after her and Nick became husband and wife, instead they
pushed their marriage off as insignificant.
In her case, marking marriage as unimportant made their life consistent
and unchanging. The audience reads how
Calhoun’s lack of change led to how her husband become ex-husband. As not many people want to experience
divorce, Calhoun’s first person account of her failing marriage serves as a
warning to readers, pushing them to create change in their own relationships,
rather than let them be the same thing day after day.
Human
nature is built off of several relationships.
Whether it be friends, family, or love, maintaining these relationships serves
to keep us happy in life. As change tends
to be unavoidable, adjusting to change or creating it yourself helps keep
relationships going. Calhoun emphasizes
this in her use of first person to strike fear in her audience, as she urges
them to not fall into an unchanging life.
She pushes this idea as a way to help others strengthen their
relationships and help other be happier in life.
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